Forever December
by nekoakimatsu
Summary: During a routine spring cleaning in the Bladebreaker's new Tokyo apartment, Max Mizuhara uncovers a mysterious hand-bound journal and a secret world, covered in snow and ice. Now as Kai's tumultuous childhood is revealed, going back seems impossible.
1. Chapter 1: An April Cleaning

Chapter 1: An April Cleaning

Max Mizuhara stood on the edge of the platform, wrapping his coat tightly around him as the cold winter snow blew through the train station. The overhead clock told him that it was now a little after a eleven o' clock, meaning that he and Takao had been standing there for just over four hours.

Glancing back at his best friend, Takao Kinomiya, Max could see that he was just as cold as he was, as he tried to pull his favorite baseball cap even further down around his ears. Max smiled, appreciative that he wasn't standing there alone; facing Kai alone.

The blonde hunched his shoulders, breathing into his wool coat to try and keep his nose warm. He hadn't meant for things to turn out this way. He had meant to try and help, to understand, but now Kai was threatening to never speak to him again. Max had never hurt anybody in his life, but there was a first for everything, and this time he had messed up terribly.

Looking up into the blackened sky and watching the snow fall down, Max recalled what had transpired within the last nine months and tried, desperately, to find the words that Kai would believe to be a heartfelt apology.

* * *

(April)

"Alright," Rei said, taping the sides to the last empty cardboard box in front of him and rising from his kneeling position. "Max, I'm giving you the bathroom and the hallway closet. Takao, you get the living room and your room."

Takao yawned, stretching out his arms before placing them casually behind his head. "I still dunno why we're having to clean," he said grumpily, trying to stifle another yawn.

"It's a _spring_ clean, Takao. We're just getting rid of the things we don't need, and if we all work together it won't be so bad."

Max smiled. It was a beautiful day outside, but it was so like Rei to want to spring clean and stay inside. For as long as Max had known him, Rei had been an obsessive neat freak and hated any sort of clutter, a trait that hadn't died out since ending their Beyblading careers two years ago.

Beyblading for the most part, while still their favorite past-time and sport, was slowly being put behind them, as college and adulthood were moving forward.

All four of Max's old teammates had decided to share a decent sized, three bedroom apartment, right outside of Tokyo. (Though Kai had protested a great deal against it), it was something that Max wouldn't have given up for the world for, and he genuinely loved sharing the same, cramped space with his old friends.

"Yeah, c'mon, Takao," Max chimed in, helping Rei's cause and giving his friend a pat on the back, "the quicker we start, the quicker we finish, and then we can go grab a bite to eat."

Takao's spirits seemed to lift a little with the promise of food. "Alright. I just don't see why the Professor and Kai aren't helping though …" He said while grabbing his boxes and stamping off down the hall.

Rei shook his head, his long bound ponytail, swaying with him. "Why can't he just do what he's told, without complaining?"

"Ah, don't worry about it, Rei. At least he didn't refuse altogether," Max said while giving the older boy and encouraging sort of look. "Well, I'll just be off to the hall closet then." Smiling one last time, he gathered up his boxes and trailed off to do his cleaning.

* * *

Even though the hall closet wasn't that big, they sure could stuff a lot of junk into it, Max thought as he looked up and stared at the cluttered shelves, before deciding where to start. Grabbing a stool, he stood on his tiptoes and reached for the very top shelf, choosing to make his way down as he went.

A couple of board games, a bag of old clothes and a tin can full of buttered cookies (obviously hidden), were all that Max found, and he carefully set each down to make a prospective pile of things to keep and things to throw away.

Sneaking one of the small cookies from the secret tin, Max then started on the next shelf, finding only a few things to keep and an armful of things to throw away: old broken beyblade parts, a few dead batteries, a box full of floppy discs and a jar full of marbles all were deemed 'clutter material' and were placed in the going out pile.

Sighing, Max then came to the third shelf. He popped his neck briefly and started pulling bags and labeled boxes off once more, before setting them down. It was then that he found, stowed away in a corner, an unlabeled blue shoe box taped shut with duck tape.

Raising a slight eyebrow, Max grabbed it and gave it a quick dusting, trying to find a label of some sort. It was heavier than it first appeared, and instantly Max assumed that the shoes were still inside, untouched. He hadn't ever seen this box before, and he quickly glanced down at the shoe size in the corner; an eleven. Blinking, he couldn't recall who in the house wore a size eleven shoe. He only wore a ten himself and he never ended up keeping the boxes.

Stepping off the stool he turned and traveled down the hall, shaking the box as he did, only to hear a loud clunking noise inside. A noise he determined that was far too heavy to be a pair of shoes. Rounding the corner, Max came into the kitchen where Rei was crouching, emptying out the refrigerator. "Rei," he asked, holding the box out and continuing to examine it. "Do you know who's this is?"

Rei's head retracted from the depths of the fridge, and quickly turned to look, squinting his golden eyes briefly. He shook his head, "No idea."

"Well, do you know who wears an eleven size shoe?"

Rei breathed in deeply, trying to summon up the obscure piece of information. Again he shook his head. "I really don't know. You could try asking Takao and see if it's his."

Max doubted very seriously that Takao would put much effort into keeping something safe, or private. Clicking his tongue, he turned and started walking back down the hall, strumming his fingers across the top of the box. He didn't want to place it in the wrong pile, and be blamed for throwing away something that wasn't supposed to be.

Weighing his options, Max decided there was only one way to find out, and he very carefully began peeling the tape up, cursing quietly every time it started tearing at the thin cardboard siding.

Max didn't know why his heart had begun beating faster as he picked at the tape with his nails, but it did, and more than once his conscience told him he shouldn't pry. He was, however, determined to know what was inside and he inhaled sharply as he managed to get the top off, revealing three very battered looking journals and a handful of old pictures.

His blue eyes stared intently at the contents inside, before sitting down on the small stool and rifling through the collection of photos. Most of them were in black and white, some filled with far away locations, and others with old family members, the most striking which was a woman posing in her wedding gown. She was possibly one of the most beautiful women Max had ever seen, and he set her photo carefully atop of the others, before lifting the journals out next.

Wrapping his fingers around one of them, he felt that they were bound in a linen and upon closer inspection that the color of them was a dark midnight blue, not black as he had originally thought.

Max could smell the stale odor of the yellowed pages and he inhaled deeply, thoughts of his grandparents coming to the surface as he did. Smiling, he looked back down into the box, noticing for the first time a small blue top that had been hidden by the first journal. It was a simple play toy, but it struck Max with the feeling of it being a precious friend, rather than a plaything.

Glancing down the hall, Max bit his lip, thinking carefully before resolving to slowly crease back the cover to the first journal. Inside on the first page, was another picture, this one too in black and white. Only instead of a cheerful looking woman staring back into Max's eyes, it was a stern, almost frightening looking man standing in front of stone building covered with snow.

Max raised an eyebrow, before flipping the page over to reveal the first journal entry, written in crisp, almost perfectly uniform, English writing. Consentrating, Max slowly began translating the script in his head.

December 13.

Balkov Abby, Russia.

My name is Kai Hiwatari; classified number 696; male.

That's all you need to know about yourself in the Abby. Nothing else matters.


	2. Chapter 2: April Showers

**Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade. **

* * *

Chapter 2: April Showers

Max sat, silently reading and then re-reading the first two lines of text, almost dumbfounded by what he was getting himself into.

Pulling his eyes away from the page, he closed the journal around his index finger, and stared forward wondering what he should do next. Not only had he broken the time-honored code of privacy, he had gone against his own moral compass, and it was something that wasn't sitting well with his conscience.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that this was perhaps the only way he would ever, truly, understand the moody and restless Kai. Max knew, only briefly, that the older boy had spent some time at Balkov Abbey as a child, but not much else. He never talked about himself and chose instead, to remain indifferent and introverted, despite his team's best efforts to include him in everything they did.

Max thought back to the Abbey where they had visited only four years ago. Even back then, Max recalled how cold it had felt; its way of life, distant and foreign from its Moscow neighbors, almost like a completely separate division from the main city. He certainly hadn't envied the boys who lived there, and most of them appeared to be just as bitter and icy as their native homeland.

Brushing his hand across his face, Max cleared his throat and stared back down at the yellowed pages, his mind waging a small war against itself as whether to read on or not. Slowly opening the journal up again, he promised himself that he would only finish reading the first page and then close it for good. After that, it could go back in the closet, only to decay inside a dark box.

Inhaling deeply, Max licked his lips before setting his eyes back on Kai's small, crisp handwriting.

_I have lived in the Abbey for seven years now, watching boys come and go, and waiting for my own chance to leave. However, I have slowly come to the painful realization that the only way one leaves the Abbey, is by beginning the process of desensitizing one's sense of self. _

_This journal is, perhaps, my last possible act of preserving myself entirely; for without it, I fear that they will break me, mold me and profile me into exactly what they desire - a humanoid machine, who's capabilities are that of near perfection, and is void of all personal feelings and desires. _

_It is the Abbey's job to produce boys of this caliber for the company that financially sustains it; a human testing facility designed to perfect and encourage what they deem "evolutionary". It's all very scientific, and I don't pretend to understand any of it. All I know are the facts._

_The Abbey is broken into four main buildings, each made out of stone and concrete, and built with a specific purpose. The main house, or entrance, is where visitors are allowed to come and observe Balkov Abbey and its inner "procedures". Guests generally include prominent figures from other countries interested in buying a share of Balkov Abbey, or the ultra-rich who can afford to receive a guided tour of the facility. Sightseers and tourists are strictly forbidden, and guards, dressed in black, stand outside all doorways to ensure that this is enforced. _

_The second house, or barracks, contain over two hundred bedrooms and sixty-five classrooms. This is where we receive our education and spend our days when we're not training. We're each assigned one roommate with whom we must share our small, restricted space with and an attendant (whose sole job is to keep the barracks in a controlled, disciplined order). _

_The third building, or staff house, is just as it sounds, for the staff. None of us are allowed entry, except when it's time for physical examinations, (which are generally spaced between two and three months apart). Cameras are installed every six feet and the same guards that patrol the entrance, so too patrol the staff house. _

_And last is the fourth house, the dungeon. It is a training facility, a mortuary and a solitary confinement block. Unlike the rest of the buildings, it has no windows, no central heating and no electric lighting. Like a medieval meat locker it sits in the furthest corner of the expansive property, completely unseen from the Abbey's front gate. Most of the boys don't like going near it, but sometimes when I find myself alone, I like to climb and sit on top of the roof and take in the sights of a near, yet distant Moscow. _

_Often, I catch myself staring at the bright and colorful tiers of Saint Basil's Cathedral just visible over the large cement fence of our compound. I have never seen the cathedral in its entirety, but I often picture it bathed completely in gold as the sun hits the domes at sunset. Sometimes, when I imagine hard enough, I can almost feel the warm rays splash across my face. It's these few, allotted moments that are my best kept secrets and are part of my fondest memories. _

Max's eyes widened as he came to the end of the page, his thoughts buzzing around his head like a swarm of hornets. Hundreds of questions instantly began manifesting, and the more he tried to dissuade them, the more he thought up.

Snapping the journal closed, Max drew in a deep breath and looked down at the blue shoe box next to his feet. He knew what he had to do, but it pained him slightly as he looked at the photograph of the woman smiling up at him. How long would it be until she saw the light again? Picking up the snapshot in his hand, Max studied her face and wondered who she was, and what ever became of her. Her dark eyes sparkled up at him and he couldn't explain it, but he suddenly felt very sorry for her. Like all of Kai's other memories, she had been locked away and completely forgotten about, left to collect dust until someone dug her out.

Placing the lid back on and fastening down the grey duck tape, Max turned to set the box back in its appropriate place. Affirming that this was the right thing to do, he placed it back in the corner that he had found it and slowly shut the closet door.

* * *

Walking into his and Takao's bedroom, he found his best friend emptying out their own closet, though his method of cleaning was a bit messier and unorganized. A trail of items followed Takao from where he now sat, to every place that he had moved to and from.

Max put a hand to his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.

Stiffening in surprise Takao turned and gave the blonde a grin. "Geez Max," he said rubbing the back of his head "you almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry," Max chuckled as he sat down on the end of his bed. "I just thought the point of this spring clean was to, you know, _clean_?"

The two looked around the cluttered bedroom before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"So I'm not a maid," Takao said, shrugging his shoulders. "But just look at all this

useless junk I found! 'Course most of it's mine," he added with a sheepish smile, while rummaging around in a plastic organizer. "Look, I found all of my old comic books, a sweet collection of action figures, and the video tapes you and I made."

"Hey, yeah," Max said, joining Takao on the carpeted floor and folding his legs Indian-style. "We made those right before going into high school."

"God, my handwriting hasn't improved at all," Takao stated, raising an eyebrow as he pulled out a tape and squinted at the title. "Can you read that?" He turned the recording over in his hand, and flashed the unrecognizable scrawl to Max.

"No way. If you can't read it, what makes you think I can?"

Takao laughed, carefully placing the video tape back in the container. "So what about you? Find anything interesting while cleaning out the hall closet?"

Max froze for a brief moment, his mouth instantly beginning to taste like cotton. He puckered his lips while mulling his thoughts over. Slowly, he started shaking his head, smiling a bit weakly. "No, just some old clothes, and a couple of board games."

"Sheesh, sounds dull. Guess I got the better space to clean after all."

Max rubbed the back of his neck, a nagging uneasiness coming over him. "Yeah," he agreed, goosebumps starting to spread down his arm. "I guess you did."

* * *

For the rest of the day, Max couldn't help but notice that his world had turned into a darkened haze. Colors seemed more monotonous, and he felt as though his head was stuck inside a very long tunnel, as he heard only half of what Rei had said to do with the filled up boxes. His situation didn't improve with Kai's return home from school either.

In an attempt to not say anything stupid or suspect, Max decided to shut himself up in his room, saying he wasn't particularly hungry as dinner was being served. This was, of course, a complete lie and as he sat on his bed fiddling with a flyaway thread from his comforter, his stomach gave a loud and acidifying complaint.

Grimacing slightly, Max grabbed his cellphone out of his back pocket and flipped the cover open to read eight forty-five emblazoned in electric-blue lighting.

Sighing, he shut his phone and placed it on his night stand. Going to bed would be next to impossible at this hour and as his stomach gave another sorrowful grievance, Max wondered just how much longer he could stave off his peevish appetite before starving to death.

Another hour passed before Takao returned to the room, his jeans fitting a bit more snug around his waist than they had a few hours ago. His cheeks were slightly flushed and the corners of his mouth were turned upward, creating a long and satisfied grin. "Max, where were you?" He asked, pulling out his pajamas from his newly organized dresser drawer. "You missed out on curry bread and rice for dinner."

The younger boy felt his stomach drop even further into his intestines at Takao's words. He mentally tried to shake off the visions of dancing curry donuts above his head, as he faked a nonchalant attitude towards his roommate. "I've just got a bit of tummy ache," he lied, putting his head down on his goose feather pillow, his abdomen gargling obscenities loudly.

Takao raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, sounds like it. I'm sorry man." He shook his head and gave a sympathetic glance in Max's direction, before taking off his shirt and changing into his striped cotton button-up. "I hope you get better in time for class tomorrow, buddy. It won't be the same without you."

Feeling another wave of guilt wash over him, Max turned over and stared at the opposite wall. First the journal and now lying, how many more acts of depravity could he pit against his morals today?

Hearing Takao pulling back his covers and getting into his bed, Max reached a hand up and flicked off the switch to the overhead light, instantly blanketing the two in darkness.

"Well, good night, Max."

"Night, Takao …"

Watching the street lights flicker and make shapes across the blank wall, Max could at last feel his mind settling into a carefree state that he hadn't had all afternoon.

Slowly he began to feel his eyelids beginning to droop, and he stretched out on his back, watching the glow-in-the-dark stars that covered the ceiling, give off a faint hue of green as the room became darker.

With each minute, he could hear Takao's breathing becoming deeper and deeper, a sure sign that he was about to doze off completely. Max's mind flitted in and out of Kai's journal entry, his words still echoing throughout his conscience. And the woman in the photo …

"Takao," Max said suddenly, breaking the nighttime silence. "Are you still awake?"

Takao shifted, before flopping over onto his stomach, making his sheets rumple around his legs. "Mmhmm," he replied faintly, a small snore escaping his mouth.

Max bit his lip and turned to face Takao. Knowing he wouldn't have the courage in the morning, he closed his eyes and swallowed.

"… I have something I need to tell you."


End file.
